Can a mother stop a father seeing his child?
If you and your child’s mother have separated and she is not letting you see your child, the short answer is this: without a court order, there is nothing that forces arrangements to happen. That does not mean you have no options. It means the route to seeing your child runs through agreement, mediation or, if needed, the family court.
Do you have parental responsibility?
Parental responsibility is the legal term for a parent’s rights and responsibilities for a child. A mother has it automatically. In England and Wales, a father has it if he was married to the mother when the child was born or married her afterwards, or if he is named on the birth certificate and the birth was registered on or after 1 December 2003. A father can also get it by a formal agreement with the mother or by a court order.
Parental responsibility matters for decisions about a child, such as schooling and medical treatment. But on its own, it does not set out when your child spends time with you.
Can she stop you seeing your child without a court order?
In practice, yes, for now. If there is no court order, arrangements for where a child lives and who they spend time with depend on the parents agreeing. If the parent the child lives with refuses, there is no order for anyone to enforce. That is why the steps below matter, and why starting a written record early helps.
The same applies the other way: without an order, a father has no legal power to insist on a particular arrangement either. Neither parent can decide it alone once they disagree; that is what the court is for.
What if there is already a court order?
If a child arrangements order says your child spends time with you and it is not being followed, you can ask the court to enforce it, using form C79. The court will look at whether there was a reasonable excuse for not following the order, and it has powers to act if there was not. See our guide to family court forms.
What can you do if there is no order?
Ask, calmly and in writing. A short, polite message proposing an arrangement is the first step, and it becomes useful evidence later if things go to court. Our guide to what to do first covers the first few days in detail.
Try mediation. Before applying to court, you normally need to attend a MIAM, a meeting with a mediator to see whether mediation could work. Some situations are exempt, including some involving domestic abuse or urgency. See our guide to MIAMs.
Apply to the court. If agreement is not possible, you can apply for a child arrangements order using form C100. The court then decides what arrangements are best for your child. The family court process, step by step shows what happens from there.
What does the court decide on?
When a court decides arrangements for a child, the child’s welfare is its paramount consideration. The Children Act 1989 lists the factors it looks at, including the child’s wishes and feelings in the light of their age and understanding, their needs, the likely effect of any change, and any harm they have suffered or are at risk of. The court is not deciding who is the better parent or rewarding either one. It is deciding what is best for the child.
What not to do
Do not go round unannounced, take your child from school or from the other parent without agreement, or involve your child in the disagreement. Taking a child abroad without the consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or a court’s permission, is a criminal offence. Each of these can damage your position, and none of them brings contact back any faster.
Related guides
- Your ex won’t let you see your child: what to do first
- What is a MIAM (mediation information and assessment meeting)?
- Family court forms explained: C100, C1A, C7 and FM5
- The family court process for fathers, step by step
- Free checklist: your first 30 days in Family Court
Sources
- Children Act 1989, sections 1, 2, 3 and 8 (legislation.gov.uk)
- GOV.UK, Parental rights and responsibilities (gov.uk)
- GOV.UK, Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate (gov.uk)
- Child Abduction Act 1984, section 1 (legislation.gov.uk)
- HMCTS form C79 guidance (gov.uk)
Sources checked 27 September 2026. The law and procedure change, so check that each source is current before relying on it.
This guide gives general information about the law and process in England and Wales. It is not legal advice, and the law and procedure change. Full disclaimer